1. Start with a handshake1.先握手 A proper handshake conveys trust, respect, and equality. Make eye contact, smile, and shake from the elbow.1.适当的握手能表达信任、尊重和平等,要有眼神交流、微笑,握手时肘部用力。 2. First, look for singletons2.首先,要选独处的人 People standing by themselves are the best option to approach. Two people standing shoulder-to-shoulder and groups of people that are closed off in a tight circle are likely not open to newcomers.独自站着的人最适合接近。肩并肩站着的两个人和围成小圈子的一群人可能不欢迎外人。 3. Practice on Your Server3.找服务员练习 If what you’re most nervous about is being ignored, test the waters by chatting up a waiter, waitress, barista, or bartendert.如果你害怕被人忽视,可以找男女服务员、咖啡师或者酒保搭话。 4. Offer your name, and repeat theirs4.主动说出自己的名字并重复对方的名字 Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language. Start a conversation like “Hi, my name is Jane. What’s yours?” When the person responds, repeat their name back: “Nice to meet you, John.”你要记住对一个人而言名字是所有语言中最好听最重要的声音。你可以这样开始聊天:“嗨,我叫Jane,你叫什么名字?”对方回答之后可以重复一遍:“John,很高兴见到你。” 5. Acknowledge your acquaintances5.承认跟别人见过面 If you’ve met someone before reintroduce yourself and say where the two of you met. No matter whether they remember you or not, they’ll be flattered you remembered them.如果你之前见过某个人,可以重新介绍自己并且说出之前在哪儿见过。无论对方是否记得你,他们都会很开心你记得他们。 6. Consider what you have in common6.找到你们的共同点 After the name game, launch into something you and the person you’re talking to can bond over.一场著名比赛之后,聊点能让你和跟你聊天的人建立起亲密关系的话题。 7. Watch your body language7.注意自己的肢体语言 To look most at ease, lace your fingers together in front of you. Lean in to show interest.为了看起来很放松,可以把手指交织放在身前,身体前倾表现出你感兴趣。 8. Don’t fire off too many questions8.不要抛出太多问题 Give your new acquaintance enough information about yourself that they can comfortably ask their own questions.跟新认识的人说足够多关于你的事,让他们能轻松地问你一些问题。 9. Draw on their passions9.利用他们的热情 Don’t be afraid to ask follow-up questions like,” Why?” or, “How’d you get started with that?” to encourage them to keep speaking if you’ve hit on a subject the person seems passionate about.如果你偶然找到一个对方好像很感兴趣的话题,不要害怕去问下面这样的问题:“为什么?”或者“你是怎么开始的?”来鼓励他们继续说下去。 10. Throw out a hypothetical question10.抛出一个假想的问题 If you’re in a group setting, such as a wedding table or circle of co-workers, ask a quirky hypothetical question for everyone to discuss.如果你跟一群人在聊天,比如婚礼的酒桌上或者是一群同事,可以问一个古怪的假想出来的问题让大家讨论一下。 11. Get out gracefully11.完美收场 When you notice a conversation starting to slow down, end it on a high note. At a natural pause in the conversation and smile. And, of course, repeat the person’s name: “I’m so glad to have heard about your trip. It was great talking to you, John!”当你注意到对话开始变慢时要完美收场。对话时自然地停顿并微笑,当然还要重复一下对方的名字:“我真的很高兴听你说旅行的事,John,跟你聊天真好!”