1.Make time for friendships. Nothing makes closeness fade away more than never talking to or seeing each other. While some bonds of friendship may be strong enough to span long silences, most aren't. If you cherish a person's friendship, make time for him or her, whether it's just the occasional phone call, e-mail or a weekly get-together. 为朋友腾出时间。不交流,也不见面会让朋友日渐疏远。尽管有的友谊足够牢固,经得起长时间冷却,但大多数是不行的。如果你珍惜一人友情,就为他或她留出时间。不管是偶尔打个电话,或是发一封邮件,又或是周末聚会。 1)On your computer at home or work, make a note to "call friends" regularly. 在你公司或家里的电脑上贴个便条“给朋友打电话”。 2)Keep a Post-it note on the phone, the bathroom mirror, the car dashboard, anywhere you're likely to see it. 贴张便条在电话上,浴室的镜子上,或汽车挡板上,任何你可能看到的地方。 3)Also make sure your friends' phone numbers are programmed into your phone. Then call a friend when you have a spare 10 minutes. 确认你电话里存有朋友的电话号码,有空的时候给朋友打个电话。 4)Schedule a regular once-a-month lunch – same time, same place. 定期安排一个月一次的午餐,同一时间,同一地点。 2.Remember: a true friend doesn't flee when changes occur. Nothing is sadder for new parents than to find that their single friends have abandoned them because of the baby. A good friend is one who stays true through it all – marriage, parenthood, new jobs, new homes, any losses. Just because a situation's changed doesn't mean the person has. 记住:真正是朋友是在发生变故时仍留在你身边。没有什么比这更难过了,刚当爸妈却发现他们的单身朋友因为他们有了小孩就放弃了他们。好朋友是能够经历一切的:结婚,生儿育女,新工作,新家庭,任何损失。因为情况改变了并不意味人改变了。 3.Make sure you aren't being a burden to a friend. Friendships fade away if there isn't an equilibrium between the give and the take. Be sensitive to how much your friend can and can't offer you – be it time, energy or help – and don't overstep the mark. And vice versa: friendships that drain you will not last. If a friendship is out of balance, talk the situation through. 确保你不会成为朋友的负担。如果付出和回报不平衡,友谊会逐渐褪色。对于哪些朋友能给予哪些不能给予要很敏感—无论是时间,精力或帮助,不要逾越界限,反之亦然。拖后腿的友谊不会长久的。如果友谊失去了平衡,就要说出来。 4.Be a good listener. It can be the hardest thing in the world to do – simply to listen as he or she pours it all out or is seeking your advice or opinion. To be a better listener, follow this advice: 做一个好的聆听者。这也许是世界上最难的事情—只是听他或她的倾诉或是向你寻求建议。做一位好的聆听者,有以下建议: 1)Maintain eye contact. Offer nods and murmurs to indicate that you understand his or her point of view. 保持眼神交流。时不时的点头和低语表明你了解他的观点。 2)Don't finish your friend's sentences. If you catch yourself planning your response while your friend is still talking, gently remind yourself to focus. 不要插话。如果当朋友在讲话时你正准备回应,提醒你自己集中精力。 3)Minimize distractions – don't write or read e-mails, open the mail or watch television while you're on the phone to your friend. He or she will hear the lack of interest in your responses. 尽量减少分心—当你在接朋友电话时不要写或阅读电子邮件,打开邮件或看电视。他或她会在你的回答中听到冷漠。 4)Be careful with advice. Assume your friend wants to let off steam, not necessarily ask for a plan of action. 提供建议需谨慎。假使你的朋友只是想发泄不满,不一定是寻求行动的计划。 5.Be in your friend's corner if he or she's not there to defend him or herself. If you're at a gathering at which someone mentions your friend disparagingly, defend him or her against gossip or criticism. Say, "Mary is my friend, and it makes me feel bad to hear you talk this way." Sooner or later, news of your loyalty will travel back to your pal, and it will deepen your friendship. 当朋友不在场时要站出来为他们辩护。当你站在一群人中正在说你朋友的坏话,你要站出来为他辩护,说,“玛丽是我的朋友,你们这样说她,我感觉很不好。”早晚,你朋友会知道你对友情的忠诚,而且会加深你们的友谊。